


Learning to love the scars

by girlsgonewild



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora Needs a Hug, Angst, Catra is strong, Childhood Trauma, F/F, Healing, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, TRIGGER WARNING: descriptions of anxiety/panic attacks, and Adora has trauma too, and therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:01:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27884182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsgonewild/pseuds/girlsgonewild
Summary: The many faces of trauma in our heroes lives, and what is left after the war."Adora has lots of scars. From a young age she conformed herself with that fact, it was unavoidable after all, being raised to be a soldier in an evil army after all. Therefore, over the years some remained painting her porcelain like skin, most small cuts, in the last few years also big ones. The thing about scars is that they heal when treated properly and only a memory of faint white lines remain, and when you are the mighty princess warrior, She-ra, healing comes easily and most of the time not even leaving markings on her skin, unless she wanted too, or couldn’t focus properly to heal them well enough. However, while the physical ones healed the emotional ones remained open, underneath masking cloths that made her think they weren’t there."
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 49





	Learning to love the scars

Adora has lots of scars. From a young age she conformed herself with that fact, it was unavoidable after all, being raised to be a soldier in an evil army after all. Therefore, over the years some remained painting her porcelain like skin, most small cuts, in the last few years also big ones. The thing about scars is that they heal when treated properly and only a memory of faint white lines remain, and when you are the mighty princess warrior, She-ra, healing comes easily and most of the time not even leaving markings on her skin, unless she wanted too, or couldn’t focus properly to heal them well enough. However, while the physical ones healed the emotional ones remained open, underneath masking cloths that made her think they weren’t there. 

The Horde didn’t care about mental health, least of all her care-taker Shadow Weaver, which always insisted on her repressing her natural human emotions in favor of making her “strong” as the sorceress would put it, and when she transitioned to the rebellion, while some superficial issues were dealt with, there wasn’t time nor patience. So, after the war ended, and Catra starts to go to therapy sessions with Perfuma, the blonde princess is forced to realize that she hasn’t been tending to the growing wounds in her heart at all. 

She talked to Perfuma about it, as Catra’s suggestion (more like demand, after witnessing one very ugly breakdown) and it was weird and enlightening at the same time. She had never talked about her emotions so much in her life, only in conversations with Catra that were necessary to build their relationship and put behind the past, she was exhausted when it ended, but was feeling more in control, now she could explain certainly behaviors and understand them better so she can somehow stop them, this isn’t something that happens in a day of course, Adora knows that, but she tries every day, and every time she went to a therapy session she would feel better, with setbacks at times of course, but for the most part nothing abnormal according to the flower princess. 

The months went on like this, Catra and Adora were happy, Glimmer and Bow and Catra were getting along, and everything seemed to be looking well. 

The peace was shattered one summer afternoon with a simple statement “Today I would like to discuss your relationship with your previous caretaker, Shadow Weaver” 

Adora’s blood ran cold the minute those words spilled out of her friend’s mouth, her posture becomes straighter and uncomfortable, and her throat clogs making it hard to breathe, she doesn’t realize she is shaking until Perfuma points it out as she tries to bring the blonde back down from the sudden panic attack. 

What comes next is a discussion that Adora barely remembers, not because she was intoxicated or suffering from sudden amnesia, but because all the emotions were too much and a brain just shut down, forcing the memories of the pain and abuse back deep in her head, somewhere she wouldn’t see them. She remembers bits and pieces, mostly from Perfuma’s side of the conversation, the light blonde girl said something that left a strange feeling in her stomach “Adora, I’m so sorry for what you had to endure under the care of that woman, as you might know I am indeed familiar with her abuse towards Catra and you from her perspective, of course, but you should know, that what you went through is a valid form of abuse, we call that Gaslighting and psychological manipulation. I’m sure you already know the meaning of manipulation though. Even though it wasn’t physical abuse, like Catra’s the effects are just as lasting or as deep, like patterns we already discussed, like your need to take responsibility of other’s burdens and try your best to fix things all by yourself, or your belief that you are not valuable, if you are not useful” 

Adora had processed the information all the way from Plumeria to BrightMoon, and as she was about to reach the edge of the woods and the palace, she stops, turns around and goes the opposite way. The new path is familiar to her, she had made it before countless times to train with Light Hope at the crystal castle, now she did is for an entirely different reason. Albeit, last time she was here wasn’t under the best circumstances, as she almost lost her life. What she seeks is not inside the Castle however, but outside, signaled by a very small tomb stone, and a broken mask she used to know so well. 

In here are the remaining ashes from Shadow Weaver, after she died at the heart fighting a first one’s monster, it was Catra’s idea to do this actually, she said it gave her some sort of piece, to have her there buried in a place that brought her almost as much pain as the sorceress had done. The girls didn’t cry when collecting the ash in an urn, or when they dig the hole, or even when they put the stone and mask above it, she was a conflicting figure for both of them, but she was gone now, finally bringing them peace and space to move on, or so she thought at the time. 

Adora isn’t truly sure why she is here, she doesn’t care to dwell much on it either, as she summoned her sword and cut the stone in half with a scream, then in smaller pieces until there was nothing but dust and little pebbles, and when that happened, she plunges the sword into the ground, sinking to her knees and gripping the hilt tightly, almost as is stabbing the non-existent body below the dirt. Only then she lets herself cry, broken sobs tear through her body and through the forest, giving it an almost gloomier look. 

Hours later when the moon is already high, her voice and energy are gone, as long with the rage, and her head is slumped forward, hands still gripping the shining sword as she shakes through the silent tears that keep on falling, looking like never-ending streams of water. She doesn’t know time or space at this point, lost in the pain on her chest, and all the feelings she has been harboring for the last 21 years, she doesn’t notice the soft steps that reach her, barely audible when she is paying attention, unlike her light footsteps the strong and tentative embrace that follows is unmistakable, she knows Catra is here, immediately the sword disappears and all the princess’ weight is on her girlfriend, that in turn shifts to hold her fully, letting the blonde cry into her chest as she whispers soft praises while caressing her hair “I’ve got you, moonshine. I’m right here, she can’t hurt us anymore. I’m here” Catra whispers into the golden hair and kisses 

“Promise?” Adora’s voice is broken and small, hoarse and raspy from the screaming and crying as looks up with red stained eyes, the sight breaks Catra’s heart and she softly smiles kissing those plump lips sweetly, and then rests her forehead against the princess’s 

“I promise” she whispers tenderly 

Adora nods content with the response. She lets herself be cradled back to BrightMoon, safely in Catra’s arms, and exhaustion overtakes her body even before they reach the palace, so she falls asleep as Catra whispers “I love you, rest now”


End file.
